Las | spn, orphan black, welcome to night vale, hannibal, the americans, teen wolf, baseball - not necessarily in that order | AO3 | about | sportsball exhaust fumes | 8tracks | LJ | 1) Feel free to ask me to reupload a mix. I'm happy to do it. | 2) I don't always tag my queued posts so sometimes it looks like I'm here when I'm not. | askbox
light ‘em up
Too much heart was always Castiel’s problem.
SO ANYWAY THOMAS AQUINAS WAS ALL, the name ‘Seraphim’ does not come from charity only, but from the excess of charity, expressed by the word ardor or fire. And it’s fitting that charity/heart is expressed by fire, something that on the one hand is purifying and on the other is utterly destructive. Heart doesn’t imply compassion here; it means zeal. Compassion will probably not lead you to mass murder your own kind, but zeal might! Basically Castiel may have a lot of feeeeeliiiiiings, but lbr, sometimes they are scary feelings.
Twice or thrice had I loved thee,
Before I knew thy face or name;
So in a voice, so in a shapeless flame,
Angels affect us oft, and worshipped be;
- John Donne, Air and Angels
Knows a man
can take to wanting like that,
a thirst for kerosene, a lust for paraffin.
His tongue blistering when he sleeps.
Last night, an entire town gone up
just like that, matches missing
from every cupboard in three counties.
Her yellow curtains singeing as she opened
the window. Crawled inside his throat
with her stiff drink, her ransom note.
- from the fire eater’s wife by kristy bowen
We were in the gold room where everyone
finally gets what they want, so I said What do you
want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me. Here I am
leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome
#claire keeps a lighter in her pocket #likes to hide under the bleachers and set papers and bits of cloth on fire #she knows she can never have what she wants - what she needs - anymore #so she settles for the next best thing and makes her own fires #wearing biker gloves doesn’t do much to hide the burns from amelia#but nothing will stop her from holding the fire in her hands again and again
#the fire is always hungry#it never stops consuming #amelia tells her this #but from the fire comes phoenixes#claire says #amelia wants to say that phoenixes aren’t real #but then #she would have said the same about angels
4x20. Tied to a chair in a warehouse, Claire dreams.
I’ll help you and your mother. I’ll save your father. All you have to do is say yes.
hymnandher said: Hey-o, I was wondering something and I just wanted to ask you-with the promise that I won't judge you at all for your answer because its all pretend and harmless-I love your Castiel as Claire or a Tiger or a Flame etc etc posts, but I always get curious about your take on his relationship with Dean in those forms. From what I gather them remain as intense and inter-wound as in canon-but are they still romantic in your eyes? If they are, are they sexual? Again, no judgement, just intrigued. :)
Also I think I only see Dean and Cas as sometimes romantic, or just left-of-center of romance. That is to say, romance is only one aspect of their complex relationship, and the relationship itself tends to fluctuate between signifiers of several things: duty, loyalty, friendship, human urges, vulnerability, awakening, ascension, descent, misunderstanding, faith, trust, expectations, love. We can say that love encompasses all these things, sure, but I think we can as easily say that faith encompasses all these things including love, that ascension encompasses all these things including love, etc. It’s about which one of them we assign as thesis concept and which ones we assign as supporting arguments, and my preferences tend to fluctuate on any given day.
Maybe these AUs are more about how Dean reacts and what it does to him, because Cas is Cas is Cas even when he’s a tiger or a flame. He still orbits Dean. What would be especially interesting is the S5 where Cas starts to lose his grace so he becomes more like his vessel. Function loses out to form. No grace to stop the fire from burning Dean. No grace to quell adolescent hormones. No grace to stop the tiger from hungering after prey. Eventually it all becomes a metaphor for need/love/devotion/etc. You are consumed, you are immolated, you are drowning, you lose control.
I’m not sure if Dean/Clairestiel can be truly romantic because Dean’d think it’s creepy because she’s so young, so if sex happens, he’d feel like shit about it. And I’m not sure if Dean’s discomfort would be something Clairestiel can understand. I also think Dean’s caretaker instincts would kick in more because even though she’s an angel, she looks like a kid. In 5x03, he wouldn’t take her to a brothel. He’d take her to a carnival and they’d eat cotton candy and ride the ferris wheel.
Tigerstiel is like the polar opposite because if an angel looks like a tiger, it’s more difficult to forget it isn’t human, which is what Dean tends to do in canon. This creature is dangerous, it can kill you, and it’s both humbling and terrifying to realize you have somehow won its heart, whatever heart it has. You wonder if it can turn on you at any moment. The connection you have to it can overwhelm you, but you work through the fear and wonder to try to meet it halfway because somehow you trust it anyway, and you trust that it trusts you. But you never forget it can rip you apart. As for whether it’s sexual, well, IT CAN BE. Maybe it’s more erotic? It’s not really Dean getting fucked by a tiger and yelling “OH YEAH HARDER HARDER”, but more like Cas licking Dean’s wound and resisting the thrill the taste gives him?
Firestiel has all sorts of fun hell associations! Like, Dean can never seem to escape the theme. Fire took his mother, it took forty years of his life (or death, depending how you look at it), then it took his brother, but fire also raised him from perdition, like the only way out is through. He can walk through these flames and not burn. He has walked through these flames and been burned to ashes. I like the interpretation of Firestiel as a cleansing fire, but I also like it when it can’t help but burn Dean when it loves him most. It doesn’t mean to, but what is fire if it doesn’t burn? Shouldn’t you have known better? Should he? As for whether it’s sexual, you got the burnplay kink, hey hey. But like Tigerstiel, the sexual acts aren’t endgame. Part of the appeal of Tigerstiel and Firestiel is the trust it takes to open yourself up to a powerful thing who doesn’t always keep its powers in check, the horror of seeing it backfire, and what are you even feeling when it breaks the world/itself for you?
So idk, sometimes it’s romantic, sometimes it’s horror, sometimes it’s kinky, most of it is the profound bond between a man and various things that shouldn’t be sentient and/or young girls.
I hope any of this made sense to you.