Anonymous asked: Dean encounters another Dean, this Dean is from the past. It was God/or Death/ or Balthazar that sent him forward to see what happens when he lets Cas slip through his fingers/not figure out what is wrong sooner/letting a broken heart direct him into shutting people out when they need you to kick them in the ass. Dean from the now can't help but feel. Happy that there's a chance for that Dean to fix things. Bitter that he's in the bad future and he's not getting that do over
I’m intrigued by the idea that the current canon’s reality is not the ultimate reality, and that maybe some other entity finds it useful as a hypothetical scenario to make a point. But at the risk of stirring up the old wank, I don’t buy that Dean was the only one making mistakes in S6. I think he reached out to Cas the best way he knew how given his circumstances and the tools he was given. If it wasn’t enough, I don’t think that’s Dean’s fault or Cas’s fault. And I think Cas let Dean slip through his fingers at least as much.
I understand that Cas left Dean alone at Lisa’s because he wanted Dean to be at peace, but sometimes you just gotta impose, man. Especially if the fate of the world is at stake! Again! In 6x03, Dean expressed surprise that Cas didn’t come to him sooner with this. In 6x10, he said, “If there’s anything we can do,” and Cas said nope, there wasn’t. At the end of 6x15, Dean expressed clear frustration that Cas wasn’t telling him what was going on. And yet despite all of Cas’s secrecy and keeping things from Dean, 6x20 still had Dean trying to remain loyal when all the signs said he shouldn’t. I still think this is Dean learning from previous experiences. Sam kept secrets in S4 and Dean didn’t trust him for it, and the resulting rift was painful. In S6, it’s Cas keeping secrets, and 6x20 was full of Dean trying to not repeat this. He gave Cas the benefit of the doubt because if there was something he learned from past pain, it’s that you keep your bros close and see them through their screw-ups. KEEP THEM CLOSE. So he tried to, and it was Cas who let him go. Honestly I think Dean hung on for as long as he could, and 7x01!Dean was dumped!Dean. I’m not really on board with accusing Dean of hypocrisy either, because if you see your friend making the same mistake that screwed you over in the past, you don’t say, “Good for you!” You try to stop them because you don’t want them and those around them to get screwed over either.
Just to be clear, whether Cas is more wrong or Dean is more wrong is not the point I’m interested in. I think their fuck-ups are what makes the relationship interesting and reveals their flaws in poignant ways. I think they hurt each other in ways no one else can because of how they are.
In 6x20, Cas kept on saying, “I’m an angel, you’re just a human,” and I think this the crux of what confounds them both about their relationship. Dean views Cas as a partner and fellow soldier, but Cas is treating Dean like an outsider, a civilian. It’s “you’re my friend so let’s save things together” vs. “you’re my friend so I’m going to spare you that burden”. Both are good in theory, but problematic in practice. Sure, we can say Cas was only being pragmatic in working with Crowley, but it was only pragmatic because he had already dismissed the other sensible idea: working with Dean. Granted, it is up to debate how sensible an angel thinks working with a puny human is against the next apocalypse. He was trying to protect Dean from something he wasn’t sure Dean would’ve been able to help him with anyway, so what ended up happening is that Cas took the choice away from himself, which took the choice from Dean. Dean would’ve helped but Cas didn’t let him, and by the time Dean said “I was there”, it was too late. Cas asking for Dean’s support in 6x21 was too late. So yeah, it’d have been nice to see Dean be kinder to Castiel and to be more proactive in wanting to help with the war, but he was under a lot of stress because of Sam and also Cas just kept him in the dark all this time. That’s not what partners are supposed to do. So yeah, I like this alternate universe where Dean says to Cas, “Shut up and let us help you,” but it isn’t anymore valid than the alternate universe where Cas interrupts Dean’s leaf-raking and says, “I need your help.”
I think Dean had no idea what he walked into when he started profoundly bonding with Cas.
I’m not saying Dean is perfect. Just because his reactions make sense considering his personal baggage, I’m not saying Cas can’t be hurt by them. Their hurting each other, inadvertent and otherwise, is pretty in-character because they don’t understand each other very well. I think Dean expects Cas to be more human than he is. I think Cas extended the faith and love he feels for God to Dean. In Cas’s mind, Dean became something to be protected and revered, whose ideals are to be upheld (viz. Cas insisting “you taught me all this”), and from whom disappointment would be deeply wounding. He still seeked external validation, first from his absent god and then from Dean. This is the thing: he often treated Dean like an absent god. He loved Dean but assumed that devotion precludes companionship and partnership, and that devotion trumps intimacy. I don’t think he realized that these were things Dean was willing to provide. He may have called Dean a friend, but I don’t think he understands what that means. He’s never really had a friendship like this before and he doesn’t really get how it works.
As for the whole free will thing, Cas internalized Dean’s lessons the only way he knew how. It kind of reminds me of the chaos that tends to follow the overthrow of a dictatorship. Dean’s free will revolution may have toppled the old regime in Castiel’s heart, but he and Castiel were unprepared for the necessary rebuilding. And thus the new democracy ends up looking a lot like the old institution, but with someone else as (reluctant) figurehead. It was unfair for Castiel to have to rebuild both his belief system and heaven by himself, but I’m reluctant to say Dean should be ‘responsible’ for Cas as if it is Dean’s job to ‘fix’ him.
The tragedy is that Cas himself is unable to extricate his own story from Dean’s. Castiel is used to serving, and I think he even translates his newfound autonomy in terms of what and whom he serves. Also, I think that Cas is mixing up cause and effect when he says things like “I have no choice”, because he thinks what he is doing is just a consequence of his previous choices - and he is actually also correct there - instead of being actual choices in of themselves, and that Cas does this because he can’t stand to be wrong. He always wants assurance that he is doing the right thing. I am not denying that Cas cares a lot for Dean, but I question his decision to not tell Dean anything. Good intentions don’t mean that someone doesn’t get hurt. Just because Cas feels bad, doesn’t mean he isn’t also making other people feel bad.
Sorry, anon, this probably what you weren’t looking for when you wrote this in my ask, but it has been simmering in me for a while. That said, I do like the idea of Dean being stuck in the bad future and wondering what he would have told past!Dean, but the Dean vs. Cas wank that has been going on all last year makes it hard for me to look at this prompt and not feel fandom baggage. Also I’m not sure that Dean wouldn’t have just told past!Dean to stop trusting Cas, that he’s just going to hurt us in the end, that he’s just like the other angels, so run as fast as you can in the other direction while you still can. Future!Deans, amirite? Then again, past!Deans do have a tendency to give future!Deans’ advice the finger, so. I mean, in the beginning of S7, Cas was basically to Dean what Samifer was to 5x04!Dean.
But okay, here, for you, and for me: past!Dean goes back to the past, and it’s autumn. He’s outside, he’s got the rake in his hands, and he says, “I know you’re there.” Maybe he tells Cas what he saw in that other future. Maybe he doesn’t, maybe he just says, “Shut up, I know you need help.” Maybe Cas just flies away in panic when Dean says “i know you’re there”. Maybe Dean rants at Cas via prayer and tells him what he knows through that. And if they do work together, I still think Dean would be like, “Okay, I’m going to help you so just deal with it, but we still have to get Sam out, and properly this time,” and they fight fight fight about it because Cas is like “THE BIGGER PICTURE, DEAN,” and Dean is like, “BUT THE SAM PICTURE”, and Cas’s lieutenants are like, “SIR, WE NEED YOU UP HERE,” and Cas is like, “BUT THE DEAN PICTURE”. But okay, let’s backtrack to the part where Dean is still trying to convince Cas to accept his help, and he says, “Cas, I’m right here.” There’s no holy fire this time. No Sam or Bobby; just them, the two of them, and how maybe this time, they can change destiny. They’ll rewrite the whole goddamn story. After all, it’s not like they haven’t done it before.
